I recently attended a photography retreat in Palm Springs, California. Two full days of connecting and learning with other portrait photographers in a relaxed and fun space was something I knew I needed! Although I was a little nervous to go on my own into a group of people I only knew casually, I felt it was time for me to dive into the unknown and see what it had to offer. After hand wringing over whether I dare do something this big for myself (and organizing child care) I made my way.

I set my intentions before arriving: connect with other photographers, learn new business strategies for photographers and grow technically as a professional portrait photographer. While I happily checked all three off my list, I didn’t expect to learn something else - a deeper empathy for my clients.

How? We participated in a “headshot exchange”; we all took turns taking pictures of each other. Not only did we get to practice our photography skills, but we all got a chance to be in front of the camera.

Wow – WHAT an experience! I am changed forever – as a person and as a photographer – here’s why:

Photo Credit: Kristine Paulsen Photography

**1. The Vulnerability is Real**
Now, I have had my photo taken tons of times by friends, but this was my first time being in front of the camera with professional photographers I had only recently connected with, so naturally, alarm bells started going off immediately. Why, all of a sudden, did I feel like a deer in headlights? My inner critic completely took over.
Even fully clothed, it is easy to feel naked in front of the camera.
I took a couple deep breaths and had a little chat with myself. How would it feel to let go and trust my photographer?
It might feel very liberating….which brings me to point number 2:

2. Annnnd Action! Your Photographer is also your Director

If I wasn’t going to listen to my inner critic, who was I going to listen to? What really helped me relax and ground was confident and consistent direction from my photographer.

Having open dialogue and clear communication during the photoshoot told me that my photographer was an authority and knew what she was doing. This meant I could trust my photographer and focus on her direction rather than whether I “looked good enough” or was “doing it right”. I was able to let go and actually forget I was in front of the camera.

Photo Credit: Mimi Snow Photography and Kristine Paulsen Photography

Photo Credit: s a schinsky photography

**3. Visuals and Mirrors Bring Us Out of Our Heads and Back to Ourselves**
If you’re like me, you may have a hard time following verbal instructions. When my photographer either showed me by example (mirroring), or gave me a visual of what to do, something changed.
For example, using phrases like “*have fun shampooing your hair”* vs “*put your hands in your hair”*, gives us something we can relate to. We use the right sides of our brains to imagine rather than think about where to put our hands, thereby creating a more natural pose. This is a form of embodiment and it is using our creativity to truly feel we are doing something. Our emotions can then tie to the actions and this becomes an authentic connection to self.
Using solely verbal instructions puts us in left brain activity, making us overthink the pose. Trying to figure out how to put our hands in our hair in a non-awkward way, keeps us in our heads and disconnected from our hearts and the camera.

What also happened I started exploring different ways of posing and movements that i wouldn’t have thought of had I been focused on getting things “right”. We had a blast playing with light and getting really creative together!